“Nothing in life is to be feared,
it is only to be understood.

Now is the time to understand more,
so that we may fear less.”

Marie Curie¹

I’m too old to embark on a new fetish lifestyle, especially since the rules of the Code d’Ode man-
date that the female slave be of
a certain age and no older. Although there are adherents of the Code who disagree with that particular tenet, it still makes me feel old. The Code d’Odalisque’s Yahoo group currently includes over four thousand members; I have no idea what the break-
down is between men and women, or how many gays, lesbians, or bisexuals (besides myself) might be among those numbers. The Code d’Ode also mandates that it is a hetero-
sexual culture – again, this is something that I’m not. There-
fore, for me, it isn’t the best fit. However, I would like to see the Code d’Odalisque become better known in the BDSM culture. It could be a welcome option for young women – women, who,
like myself, find themselves to be truly sexually submissive by nature – if they knew they had an avenue of pleasure to explore in their desire to serve and submit, rather than only an avenue of degradation, force and pain, regardless of how ritualised
and “safe” it has become.

With the current climate of war and the Middle East’s misogynistic realities, it’s doubtful that the female pleasure slave in her

Harem-girl night August 2010, aged 50.

harem outfit will become as haute couture as BDSM fashions have become over the last fifteen years. Still, it is interest-
ing to note that, while torture is still a tenet of modern war, it doesn’t hinder countless BDSM play parties to proceed as normal on any given Saturday night all over the Western world. One thing is certain about real-
ity: time changes everything.
I hope that what I’ve learned about the nature of my own
desires, along with the mistakes I feel I’ve made, will, over time help bring more rewarding choices to younger women who sense they will be sexually ful-
filled by participating joyfully in their own desires to serve.